Each Journey Begins With One Step
by venusdemilo7
Summary: Jake makes Bella realize that she needs to stop living her stagnant lifestyle and change... for her own sake.
1. When one door closes

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, not me!

~*~*~*~*~

Each Journey Begins With One Step

Chapter 1: When one door closes…

My days fell into a regular pattern. Not in the same way as my zombie days, but even recklessness needs some structure. My week consisted of 3 days of work at the Newtons' store, 2 homework days with Jacob, one reckless, hallucination-inducing day (with or without Jacob), and a nice safe, relaxing day with Jacob.

My life continued in this pattern for the months leading up to graduation, with only a couple notable exceptions. The week of spring break I picked up 2 extra shifts, and Charlie and I basically lived at the Blacks' house. The night of prom Jake and I watched blood-and-gore horror movies while pigging out on pizza. I knew he really wanted to take me to prom, but I just… couldn't.

Graduation came more quickly than I would have liked. I had worked myself into a nice pattern, and graduating meant changing that pattern. I turned down both Mike's and Angela's invitations to join them at the grad night held in our gym. I felt a twinge of guilt disappointing Ang like that. Mike, not so much. I had bigger things to worry about—like if Charlie had planned a huge and embarrassing party for my graduation.

My fears, it turned out, were wholly unjustified. I should have known because 1) it was Charlie and 2) my birthday hadn't even been a big deal in our house. So Charlie decided we should celebrate by giving me the night off cooking and inviting close family friends to celebrate with me. Which actually meant that he ordered in pizza and had Billy and Jake over to watch the game. I guess I should be thankful that he respected my desire to not make a huge fuss over it. He was even considerate enough to not get me a present.

After I had my fill of pizza—three slices—and Jake had his—fourteen slices—I quickly got bored with pretending to watch the game. When I got up and left to go to my room, Charlie and Billy didn't even notice. Jake followed behind me wordlessly.

I continued through my bedroom door and sat on my bed, legs pulled up under me. Jake closed the door behind him and sat on the floor.

"So, quite a party, huh?" Jake commented, amused.

"Oh yeah," I replied, rolling my eyes. "But actually, I like it better this way."

"Didn't want to go to grad night?"

My only reply was a pointed stare that said, _c'mon, really? What do you think?_

That caused Jake to laugh a loud, deep, warm laugh. He lay back on the floor and I couldn't help but smile.

"Hey," he said, facing towards me, "I got you something."

I made a face. "Jaaake!" I whined.

"I know, I know, but open it anyways."

He reached into his right jean pocket, arching his hips up in order to pull out a small white box. How had I not noticed it earlier? I mentally shrugged to myself. It almost seemed like he hesitated before he handed it to me… I opened it, and revealed a small, plain silver cross on a delicate silver chain.

"It's not much, but—" he started to say.

"It's perfect!" I finished for him. I didn't consider myself religious, but I didn't consider myself not _not_ religious. Plus, the necklace had the simple beauty I admired. "You didn't have to, but I love it." I unclasped the chain, intending to put it on right then.

"Here, let me."

I felt the mattress behind me sink with Jake's weight. He brushed my hair over my shoulder and I held it, twisting it around as nervous fluttering filled my ribcage. That's weird, I thought to myself, slightly confused. Jake fastened the necklace then went back to his place lying on the floor. My eyes stared down at the tiny silver cross lying against the fabric of my sweater.

"Looks good."

"Yeah," I agreed.

Not knowing what to say next, but wanting to do something against the comfortable silence, I stretched out on the edge of my bed, parallel to Jake on the floor. He immediately reached up to hold my hand, closing the gap between us. We stayed like that, chatting, until I must have drifted to sleep.


	2. Another door opens

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, not me!

~*~*~*~*~

Each Journey Begins With One Step

Chapter 2: …Another door opens

I awoke in the morning, still in my clothes from the previous night, but tucked under my quilt and oriented properly on the bed. I wasn't sure if it was Jacob or Charlie who put me here.

Regardless, I had had a restful and dreamless sleep. I got my bath stuff together and headed for the shower. The warm water woke me up, and I hummed one of the songs I had heard on the radio in Jake's car yesterday. After fifteen minutes I turned the water off and toweled dried my hair. Once inside my room I actually picked out an outfit that was hanging up in my closet. I made my way downstairs into the kitchen and saw that Charlie was there. It must be earlier than I realized.

"Morning Bells."

"Morning Dad."

The silence was comfortable as I poured myself cereal and sat down to eat it. The only sounds that interrupted the silence besides my chewing were Charlie rustling the paper now and then.

"Rrrhmmhum." Charlie cleared his throat.

Not even a minute went by and he cleared his throat again.

"Rrrhmmhum."

I quickly looked up. "Sorry Dad." I hadn't realized that he had been trying to get my attention.

"Bells…" his eyebrows scrunched together like he was trying to pick his words carefully. "Now that you've graduated… have you given any thought about college? Your future?"

"Um…" I hesitated. _You have no idea._

He took my lack of answer as a no. "Well, I think you should look into going to college this fall."

"Dad—"

He interrupted me before I could protest. "Now Bells, consider it. You've always been great at school; I mean you've just graduated salutatorian of your class."

I blushed and looked back down at the table.

"If it's the money you're worried about…" he began.

"No no no!" I said quickly. "That's not it! I mean, well… no that's not my reason. I guess I just haven't pictured myself in college…" No need to tell him where I did picture myself.

His chair scraped on the linoleum as he started to get up. "Well I'll let you have a few more days to think about it."

"Wait!" Panic began to swell in me. I needed this to be resolved; I don't think I could handle a reoccurrence of this awkward conversation with Charlie. I thrashed around in my brain for some kind of idea, or reference even that I'd heard my cafeteria friends mention about college. Then it came to me.

"What about… community college?"

He sat back down, listening.

"I mean, I could still live here, but I could go to school two or three days a week, and Mrs. Newton offered me a full time position at the store. Plus, it's less expensive than a four-year place. I'm sure I could get a scholarship of some kind."

I didn't need so many reasons to try to convince him. By the time I said "school" he was already nodding in agreement. I was pretty impressed with this plan that I had made up on the fly.

"That could work," was all he eventually said. "Well," getting up again, "I should head down to the station now. Bye Bells."

"Bye Dad."

And with that, the next section of my life was decided.

After I cleaned my dishes I headed upstairs and turned on my ancient computer. I hung up some clean clothes in the closet while it warmed up, and then spent a good portion of the morning registering online for Peninsula College, West End/Forks Extension. I even found some merit scholarships to apply for.

I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning the house top to bottom, stopping once to make myself lunch. After the whole house was sparkling clean, I wasn't sure what to do next, cause I didn't have any homework to do anymore. Unless I signed up for summer school…

Nope. I checked online but summer registration had ended about a month ago. I sighed in frustration, and shut down the computer. I sat staring out the window, idly fingering the cross around my neck. It was so light I wasn't even aware of it against my skin until I had unconsciously started playing with it. I must have even showered with it. Strange how it easily became part of my life, just like how the guy who gave it to me did. I smiled. I remembered how easily Edward became part of my life too. Well, how easily he _became_ my life. I stopped smiling. The hole threatened to make its existence known.

So I got up and went downstairs to call Mrs. Newton about starting my full time job tomorrow. The only thing left to do today was to distract myself some more until I had to make dinner for Charlie. With that in mind, I got in my truck, engine roaring to life, and headed down the highway to La Push.


	3. One step forward, two steps back

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, not me!

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and to those who gave some suggestions! I really appreciate the input!! Glad you guys are enjoying it so far ^_~

~*~*~*~*~

Each Journey Begins With One Step

Chapter 3: One step forward, two steps back

In between putting the truck in park and turning the engine off, Jake opened my driver side door.

"Hey Jake!" I greeted and practically stepped down into his arms from the truck seat.

"Hey Bells!" he smiled warmly, wrapping me up in his huge warm embrace.

After three seconds of hugging—which I deemed generous since the rule for a "we're just friends" hug is only two seconds—I disentangled myself and slammed the truck door shut. Not to be disheartened, Jacob draped his arm across my shoulders as we walked towards the make-shift garage out of habit.

"Nice necklace you got there," he said with a playful, crooked smile.

"Yeah," I replied, playing along. "Yeah some guy gave it to me… you know how it is."

"Oh, really? Just some guy? I don't know if I can allow you to accept gifts from just some guy," he shook his head in mock seriousness. "Do I need to teach this guy a lesson?"

I couldn't help laughing. "No! No, this guy was okay. No teaching of lessons necessary."

"Yeah? Tell me more about this guy." He was still being playful, but the undertone was far from disinterested.

"Well…" I knew I was getting myself into some kind of trap, but I wasn't sure how to get out of it safely. "Well he's a Quileute Indian, he likes cars, and he's going to be a junior in high school."

"Aww, that guy doesn't seem so tough." Jake winked at me.

"You'd be surprised!" I continued. "He can phase into a werewolf."

"Wow, now that's something to be afraid of."

"Some people might be."

"You're not?"

I locked eyes with him. "No."

He smiled and ruffled my hair. "Tell me more about this high school werewolf."

"Well," I started again, feeling bolder since Jake was now rifling through his toolbox instead of staring intensely at me. "He's nice, and funny, and loyal, and always puts others before himself, and is really generous and caring, and always makes me feel better when I'm sad."

He stopped whatever he was doing and turned to face me again, a smug but happy smile on his lips.

"A pretty cool guy, huh?"

I could've sworn he blushed a little. But I was on a roll. I don't know where all these words were coming from, or why, but I felt like I needed to finish saying whatever it was I was saying, so I rushed on. "He used to have really long pretty hair, and he's really really tall, and he has huge hands—" I blushed at the implied innuendo, even though I didn't mean to say it. "—and the most brilliant smile ever, and he gives the best hugs, and his skin seems to glow because he's so hot all the time—" Now I was beet red. "Well, I mean, physically I mean. Well, like his temperature is really high. Well, I don't mean like, he's _not_ hot, in other ways… but—" I stumbled pathetically through my confusion. I didn't know who I was trying to convince of what. Why didn't I stop when I had the chance?

Jake chuckled and swept some hair behind my ear. When did he get so close? I swallowed around a lump in my throat and my heartbeat sped up like crazy.

"So what does this guy mean to you?" he asked huskily. I don't think he was playing anymore…

"I… I think… um… he's, well… he's my best friend," I finished lamely.

Jake's smile didn't disappear, but it sure dimmed. I frowned, feeling disappointed and guilty, but mostly confused. He searched my eyes for a minute, then turned around and grabbed a wrench and slid under the car he was working on. I don't know if he was actually working. Maybe he just didn't want to see my face. Or me to see his. Either way I couldn't stand the silence…

"So what's the project for today?" I asked, still uneasy.


	4. One giant leap, Part 1

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, not me!

A/N: Okay, so this chapter ended up being really super long, so I'm going to split it up into parts.

~*~*~*~*~

Each Journey Begins With One Step

Chapter 4: One Giant Leap

After that day I started wearing the cross underneath my shirt, hoping to avoid another conversation with Jacob about it. He never commented on it, the conversation or the concealed cross, but I was still confused about what had happened between us, and it was frustrating.

My days fell back into a nice, easy pattern. I worked 7 am to 3 pm Monday through Friday, sometimes picking up an extra shift here and there when the Newton's would go camping on weekends. Jacob spent a lot of time with the pack, doing bonding-type stuff—hiking, camping, and patrolling for vampires—you know, guy stuff. But he and I would manage to hang out in his garage at least once or twice a week. When the pack wasn't camping, they would have bonfire nights. I went to most of them, and I would let Jacob put his arm around me the entire night. I thought I was trying to make it up to him—that awkward conversation—but I can't deny that it made me happy too. I sometimes wondered if Jake had the same gift as Jasper did. I felt that nothing could go wrong when I was with my Jacob.

The weeks and months passed surprisingly quickly and before I knew it, the middle of September rolled around and I started my college classes. Jake had started back to school a little before that, so we reestablished our two-nights-a-week-homework-night once I started class. This new pattern was similar to my high school pattern. I still worked 7 to 3, but on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. I went to my four classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays; homework night with Jacob was Wednesday and Friday—we hung out in his garage on the other weekdays. Saturdays and Sundays were reserved for hanging out with the pack.

The days passed quickly and I didn't even realize that Halloween snuck up on me. In high school, Halloween wasn't even on my radar. I had no interest in Jessica and Lauren trying to out-slut each other with costume ideas, or getting drunk on the weekend and toilet-papering some neighbor's house. Forks was too small for strangers, so the kids usually ended up cleaning the mess the next morning, sometimes even when they weren't caught. But this Halloween caught my attention. I was daydreaming in one of my Thursday classes. The two girls next to me we blabbing on and on as usual, but then one of them said—

"—vampire. What do you think?"

I froze in my seat. The other one responded, neither noticing my world stopping.

"Oooo, yeah! That's like, a twist on the old classic Frankenstein's Bride. You could so pull it off."

"Yeah I was thinking like, no one's gonna be a vampire, cause it's so cliché, but cliché in like a retro kind of way!"

"Oh totally!"

"Yeah I was thinking of driving to that gothic store place in Port Angeles, cause that's like, the same thing right?"

"Oh totally! You're gonna make a super sexy vampire. I wish I could pull that off too."

She was probably hoping for some affirmation that yes, she could be a super sexy vampire too, but the other girl was too wrapped up in her own plans to respond correctly. As for me, I was too busy trying to suppress an insane giggle bubbling up through my stomach. A super sexy vampire? Gothic clothing store? Retro cliché? If only she knew what a real vampire looked like—super sexy wouldn't even begin to—she'd probably seem them actually, she'd probably been to my high school. If only she realized—oh just imaging the look on Rosalie's face if she'd heard this conversation. If only—

A laugh bubbled up and came out as kind of a hiccup. The two girls turned their heads and glared at me.

"So what're_ you_ gonna be for Halloween?" the not-super sexy vampire asked me, affronted.

"Umm…" This conversation was getting more and more ridiculous. Why not take it to the next level? "I'm gonna be… a werewolf."

They quirked their left eyebrows simultaneously. That almost caused another hiccup-laugh.

"Yeah, I was thinking of getting a cavewoman costume and adding ears and a tail. You know, like a twist on an old classic?"

If they could tell I was being sarcastic, they didn't show it. After that they ignored me and continued on with their ridiculous (in my opinion) plans.

But now that I thought about it… what would Jacob say if he saw me dressed up as a werewolf? He would probably find it amusing. What would the pack say? Somehow I don't think they'd find it quite as amusing. I grinned. What would they think if I dressed up as a vampire…?

The grin vanished. I froze again, arm clutching my stomach. Two thoughts were going through my head—one, that I can't believe I thought of Jacob first before thinking of Edward, and two, that no one, _no one_, would think me dressing up as a vampire would be funny. It would be like… like sacrilegious or something. I smiled weakly at my unintended joke. My free hand was even playing with the cross without me realizing it. Imagine me, dressed as a vampire, wearing a cross, in the middle of a pack of werewolves. It was almost funny enough to make me feel better.


	5. One giant leap, Part 2

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, not me!

~*~*~*~*~

I found out at home that Saturday was indeed Halloween, so the next day after work I stopped by a small costume shop. Almost everything had been picked over of course. I did find a cavewoman costume, but no unattached tails, and so I settled for some ears—dark brown wolf ears to match my hair that I hoped didn't look too much like cat ears.

Saturday morning found me at Jacob's, watching yet another pile of junk (in my opinion) being transformed into something alive and beautiful. Our conversation had lulled, and I was sitting in the comfortable silence sipping my warm soda and idly watching Jacob work. It was so fascinating watching his muscles rippling under his skin… I had never seen anyone so comfortable with being in their body, or even just _being_. I had also envied him for that… and it was especially amazing to someone like me who, being klutzy to the point of endangering my life, never felt comfortable in their body. Never felt comfortable being, or even doing…

Except for here. Here was comfortable… I could do this. And cooking; I was comfortable doing that too. And reading… But mostly being here. That was the big one. As soon as I walked through that garage door, I left all my worries and problems and imperfections and _holes_ behind me. I just _was_, when I was with Jacob.

Jake's hand waving in front of my face broke me from my reverie.

"Hey, what're you thinking about Bells?"

I smiled a small smile. "What're you doing tonight for Halloween tonight?"

"Umm…" he looked caught off-guard.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since I was the very last person to bring up any sort of holiday.

"I dunno, what'd you wanna do?" he asked, scratching the back of his head.

"The pack got anything planned?"

He shrugged. "Bonfire, maybe."

"That sounds good. And maybe some scary movies too?"

He grinned. "The ones we didn't finish on prom night?"

We both laughed, and it came so naturally. Comfortably.

"We could hand out candy at my house," I continued, "and you could scare the little kids by jumping out of the bushes!"

"Are you implying that I'm scary, Bella? I'm offended!" he gasped in mock seriousness, clutching a hand to his heart.

I was too busy laughing to reply. He soon joined in again and then I seemed to be laughing cause he was laughing, and he was laughing cause I was laughing and that he couldn't stop laughing either. It was like that game you play when you're little, when you all lay your heads on each other's stomachs and try not to laugh but you can't help it.


	6. One giant leap, Part 3

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, not me!

~*~*~*~*~

I stayed around long enough to make Jake a monstrous sandwich for lunch and me a moderate sized one, and then headed back to Charlie's. I hoped to get some laundry and cleaning done and make Charlie's dinner before heading back to Jake's. So I was surprised to find a note on the refrigerator door stating simply—

_Bells,_

_I have to work late. Don't wait up. _

_Be safe._

—_Dad_

At a loss, I stared blankly at the note. Well there goes my idea for dinner tonight. Online I had stumbled across "Halloween dinner recipes" and one was to shape meatloaf in the shape of a human's body, surround it with spaghetti sauce and stab it in the "heart" with a butter knife for good effect.

Darn.

So instead I started laundry and cleaned my room. Not wanting to move on to the bathroom or downstairs, I turned my computer on, waited patiently, and looked up more Halloween recipes. I contemplated making a pumpkin pie, but it would be cold by the time Charlie got home. I could give it to Jake, but what if the pack was there? I didn't have enough time or ingredients to make everyone pie. Besides, they had Emily to make baked goods for them… she probably had already. I clicked on another link… Aha! Witches fingers! But not the cookie kind—this variation was pigs in a blanket with the almond slice attached at one end. Emily had probably made them all sick with her sugary baked goods. Meat was the perfect antidote!

Inspired, I hurried down the stairs—almost tripped, but didn't—and started rummaging through the kitchen. Crescent rolls I had, but no cocktail wieners, so I cooked up a bunch of hot dogs and decided to cut them up into smaller pieces. I also had almond slices—leftover from some other cooking project. But how to attach the almonds… Frosting? Ketchup? No, neither was satisfactory so instead I concentrated my efforts on molding the unbaked crescent rolls to be finger-shaped yet be able to hold a hot dog afterwards… then I could attach the almond slices with red frosting.

It took some experimenting to get it just right, but by the time it was just getting dark I had enough witches fingers to feed a whole army of werewolves, without leaving any room for baked goods. Luckily I hadn't forgotten my laundry while cooking, but I hadn't cleaned the rest of the house. Oh well, I would do it tomorrow then. I arranged my creations on dinner plates (it took nearly all the ones we had, which actually wasn't saying much, but still) and covered them with foil. I grabbed a jacket, my wolf ears, and loaded the passenger seat of the truck with witches fingers. (It took two trips.) Then I was on the road, humming tunelessly.

I parked in Jake's driveway, and he didn't come out right away which probably meant that the pack was over. But as soon as I opened the passenger door he was right there beside me.

"What smells so good, Bells?"

"No peeking! Just carry inside." I slapped his hand for good measure. He sulked and pretended it hurt.

Instead of grabbing the other plates, I quickly reached in and put my wolf ears on, turning around to face Jake. I was a little nervous for some reason…

"Bella, what are those?" he gawked.

"It's… Halloween, duh. You're supposed to dress up." I was getting more nervous…

"Are you… supposed to be a cat?"

"No!! I'm a werewolf!" I replied defiantly—nervous butterflies be damned!—and looked up expectantly at him.

He didn't say or do anything for a couple of seconds, then a big grin spread across his face like the sun coming out of the clouds. He chuckled and embraced me with his free hand.

"That's my girl!" he laughed, a big warm deep laugh. "Come on, let's get inside before these get cold." And with that he scooped up all the plates save one. I guess he felt like I needed to feel at least a little useful.

He was still chuckling and saying, "That's my girl!" as we made the short distance to the house. There was a decided spring in his step. I rolled my eyes even though he was walking in front of me.

Jake opened the door and yelled, "Hey guys! Guess what Bella brought us!"

From what little I could see of the house from behind Jake's monstrous form filling the doorway, the pack immediately gathered around when they smelled the food.

"Oh wow! That smells great!" came Quil's reply, as others murmured their consent. Jake slapped his hand away as it tried to sneak under the foil covering one of the plates.

"Uh uh, Quil, be patient! Bella worked long and hard on these, so don't go shoving as many as you can into that huge trap of yours!"

Quil was nonplussed. "Yeah whatever man, look who's talking."

A horrified voice cut through the bantering. It was Leah.

"What is that on you _head_?"

I could only assume she was talking to me. "I'm a werewolf. You know, for Halloween."

Jake was grinning like an idiot. Leah just glared at me harder, which I didn't think was possible. Emily smiled kindly at me, Embry made an appreciative head-nod, Quil laughed "Good one!", and the others seemed simply uninterested.

"Yeah that's my girl!" Jake said again for what seemed the millionth time, and draped his arm across my shoulders. "She's finally decided to be one of the pack!"

I rolled my eyes, but I don't think anything could ruin his mood now. He seemed almost… cocky? for some reason? Leah just scoffed.

"Hey stop torturing them Jake, and serve them my food."

Everyone was suitably impressed with my witches fingers. They looked so real and creepy, especially with the almond slices attached with red food coloring to look like finger nails. Quil attached eight to his fingers somehow (I guess his thumbs were too big) and went around caressing people's faces cackling, "I'm going to get you, my pretty!"

Groans and, "Cut it out Quil!" punctuated the sounds of normal conversation and eating. It seemed to take only minutes for the food to disappear.

"That was great Bells!" Jake grinned and one-arm hugged me.

"Yeah thanks Bella!" chorused Quil and Embry. The others nodded in agreement.

The pack members wandered into the living room to talk about serious things (I assumed), so I stayed behind in the kitchen to tidy up. The murmur of voices was comforting as I washed and dried my dishes, and then washed and dried the Blacks' dishes.

I had moved on to wiping down the countertops and was considering finding a mop when I felt Jacob's heat aura behind me a moment before he wrapped his arms around me.

"You don't have to do all that Bells," he murmured into my hair.

For some reason I couldn't think anymore. "It's no problem. I mean really, when were you or Billy going to get around to it?" I tried to laugh as I turned around in his arms to face him. Or rather, I turned to face his bare chest. Surprise, surprise.

We stayed hugging like that for a while, even though I knew that I should push him away and keep the 2 second rule. I thought that I should feel guilty for enjoying his comfort. But Edward wouldn't mind… that was the sad part. I was just punishing myself.

Thankfully before I continued with this train of thought and started crying, Jacob pulled away and said:

"The pack has gone down to the beach and some of the guys will take turns patrolling. We can watch some movies now and head down later, or whatever you want."

"Umm… yeah, that sounds goods. Movies first, dark scary beach after." I was trying to lighten my own mood. (I've never been very good at that.)

"Aww, no need to worry Bells! You have a big strong werewolf to protect you!"

"Oh I'm sooo relieved," I replied, rolling my eyes.

He just chuckled and ruffled my hair (minding the wolf ears) and strode into the living room. I followed close behind.


End file.
